Till We Meet Again

"Let's break up...." 

"Are we really need to end it here?"

"Sorry, I can't hold out much longer."

"But why? I'll be there again next year. I don't want to give up."

"We're so much different, and I can't see any sign of the future of our relationship. I'm tired enough to wait, I'm tired of missing you all the time, it's all been hard for me. So please, this is the best for us...."

*Sighing "Okay.., let's do this. But, I promise to visit you again next year. Please don't refuse."

"Alright then. Thank you, Jackson. See you."

"See you Raya, promise me, you'll find someone better."

"I promise."

******

(A day at National Monument of Indonesia)

*Sitting peacefully alone. It's been a year and six months and now I'm getting closer to my wedding day. But, everyhting doesn't feel right. I cried too much, I blamed myself a lot, I lost confidence, I lost myself, I'm draining.

He's nice, but I just can't feel a home. There's a lot of times where I question my own feelings. "Am I right? Or, is my feeling valid? Am I too much? Did I just do a mean thing? Am I a bad person? Did I asking for too much?" It's always spinning in my head.

"Here babe." He came back with a bottle of water.

"Thanks babe, where did you get it?"

"The street stall over there." Pointing to the place. I nodded.

He's sitting next to me, we're both are silent. The air is really nice, tho it's a very sunny days currently. But we're enjoying the vibe under this huge tree until he finally opened his mouth. "Are you still mad?"

"Humm? No I'm not." I lied.

We were in a bad argument. It was because I had just caught a message on his phone from someone, which he had deleted so I wouldn’t find out. 

"Are you sure?" Bow his head down and look at me.

"Uhuh.."

"No, you're not. Just tell me what's still bothering you."

"I just couldn't understand why were you deleting that messages."

"I told you, I was afraid that you know and you would be mad. Besides, I’ve already apologized. Sorry babe."

"See? You always said that. "I've already apologized" You always try to win and act like everything's over just because you apologized. It makes me feel like my feelings don’t matter at all for you."

"That's not like what you think, babe...."

"Right, It was my fault. I shouldn’t have thought that way. Let’s go home."

"Right now? We still have so much time."

"I'm tired enough."

"Hfttt.. okay....."

******

I lay down on the bed and cry. Again. The trip felt exhausting. Our relationship feels exhausting. As I was crying, a message suddenly came in, it was from a friend.

Zara: Bestieeee! Let's come together, there will be a nice exhibition in Jakarta tomorrow, come along!

Me: Really? Okay I'll come.

Zara: Okay then, see you at 10 AM.

Me: Where?

Zara: At Bekasi station.

Me: Got it, see you girl.

I turned to open the chat and send a message to my fiancé. 

Me: I'll go hangout with friends tomorrow.

Fiancé: Okay babe, please keep updated.

Me: Alright babe.

******

(At Museum)

"Guys, I gotta leave right now." 

"Huh? Like, now?" Zara said.

"Alone?" Mira said.

"Why tho?" Chika said.

"Something urgent came up, and I had to go. I'm sorry guyssss~"

"Awwww.. it's okay Raya, Thanks for coming! You can go~" Chika spoke playfully and smiled at me. Haha, she's so cute!

Then I nodded and walked away. "Bye guys!"

"Take caree!!" They said.

It was a really good time, It's been a long time I didn't play along with them so it was great. But sadly, I need to go earlier because I actually have another schedule (to watch a movie). Don't get me wrong! It's a movie that I've been waiting for so I need to watch it!

I opened my phone and tried to get the ticket on the app, so I got it, at the nearest mall from here. I quickly ordered an online driver and headed there. When I arrived, I saw a huge crowd, it looks like there's some kind of event going on. I didn’t really care, even though I was a little curious. But since the movie I booked was starting in just 15 minutes, I went straight to the top floor.

(1 Hour 56 minutes later)

The movie was over. I was a bit disappointed, it wasn’t as good as I had hoped. But oh well, it is what it is.... Now I plan to stop by the crowd from earlier, just to kill some time before finally heading home. 

It's a Korean art performance. Oh wow, it's really nice to see tho. I strolled around, just looking at things. Suddenly,  someone shouted my name.

"Raya!"

I turned around in surprise and saw the person not too far from me. I tried to recognize him. He walked closer, and that’s when I realized. It's him... Jackson.

"Jackson..?"

"Yeah it's me, nice to see you again Raya!"

"Uh.. yea.. um, How did you get here?"

"I miss you.." His expression suddenly changed. It softened, and his eyes welled up with tears.

"You.. uh, I don't know if you here.."

"I tried to chat you but you seem not using kktalk anymore. Or, you did block me.."

"Uh.. I, yeah, I'm not using it anymore."

"I tried to find you, uh.. anyway, how are you? How's life without me? Haha."

"It's just good? I, uh.. I'm going to get married soon, Jackson....."

"What?! Really..? Congrats...."

I fell silent for a moment, staring at him. He stares back at me, as if something was being said between us, something neither of us could put into words.

"So, when is it?" He suddenly ask.

"Next month."

"Oh... didn't expect that to be that fast.."

"Aha, yeah I know right.."

"So... are you happy? With him?"

I froze. For some reason, that question felt suffocating. I didn’t know how to answer. I couldn’t even lie about how I felt anymore. I wanted to tell him everything but no… instead, tears suddenly streamed down my face.

"Hey... what's wrong?"

"I... I broke my promise Jackson...."

"What do you mean?"

My sobs grew louder as I walked away from that place, looking for somewhere quiet, but he came after me.

"Tell me, what do you mean?"

"I, I'm so sorry.. that i left you just like that."

"That's okay Raya, it passed. I'm okay."

"But it turns out that I'm not."

"Are you.. ah... I know what you mean now."

"I'm sorry...."

"I'm sad to see you like this, but can't do anything. You'll marry him soon, Raya. How come he made you like this?"

"I don't know.. I uh.. I don't feel happier. I'm sorry."

"I'm going to US tomorrow. I will live there for the rest of my life. Just so you know where to find me."

"Bogo siposso.."

"Ara..." 

"Hajiman, naneun nega geunyowa haengbokagil barae. Please be happy, at least for me." He added.

"Okay Jackson.... So, you will leave tomorrow right?" I wiped my tears.

"Yes. And I'm so gratefull that finally I can meet you here before I go, even if it was only for a brief moment."

"Take care, I'll go home right now." I stepped away, leaving it all behind.

"I love you, Raya."

I stopped without turning my body, and only glanced over my shoulder. "Thank you, Jackson."

"Till we meet again." He said. 

My chest burned hearing those words,  it hurts. But I ignored him and kept walking away. 

(END)